I am and have been an independent woman for the majority of my life, brought up by parents who taught me to stand on my own two feet, believe that nothing is impossible and who felt that being a woman was no reason for me to be hampered in my life.
For someone such as me therefore, the idea of physically sharing time and space with someone new can be very difficult once you have learned to live independently and alone.
Now don’t get me wrong – I love to share and I love nothing more than to see others happy and smiling as a result of sharing. However, I am also very comfortable in my own space and enjoy being on my own with only my thoughts and the silence that surrounds. Rarely can you find that true bonding with another person. So to share that space would really take a very special person as the actual idea of me physically being in a relationship again is attached to memories of making compromises in the past.
How hard is that for most people – to make compromises WITHOUT being compromised in one’s beliefs?
So many make “compromises” for the wrong reasons. They compromise to accept the lesser of two evils perhaps. They “settle” for things because they do not believe they deserve more. They don’t want to be alone. Whatever the reason for the “compromise” they are basically surrendering. Surrendering is giving up or submitting to someone or something else. I know – I have been there! It is not a positive word.
My definition of the word compromise is that it is all about understanding and should therefore be done out of love. Love for an idea or another person and the chance for a new learning opportunity or experience. This is the positive way of thinking.
Compromise when you WANT to give is very different to the compromise that some people feel they are “forced” to make or to accept given their circumstances of the time.
In the past, as what is known as a “new-age” thinker and old style “hippy” I have been accused of “running away from life” , of not accepting the “reality” of life and situations, of “not accepting responsibility” for my future, but really this is not the case.
I have never run away from life experience although I have often run out or turned my back on relationships that proved destructive for me. But life itself? No………….I have always tried to embrace life in all its glory, accepting & rejoicing in the pleasures, accepting and learning from the pain. The differences that are in everyone and every aspect of life are an essential part of living. Life to me is not about compromising ones beliefs.
I have never expected or wanted to be nanny-fed or receive hand-outs or financial rewards for anything more than my own deserved hard-work. My parents instilled those ethics in me and I have the integrity (as do the rest of my family) to not want to be compromised.
What I do hope for is a relationship with another that will not compromise my beliefs or theirs and when I feel that I may have found that it will be pretty amazing. After all, I really am not the stone cold fish that some (including myself sometimes) believe I am and there is life in this old nag yet.
My heart will always be given to another when they want to share their love, life, thoughts and experiences.
Then they may happily invade my thoughts constantly, for my soul-mate will never be a compromise OR compromised by me either.