I am working and living with two English“men” but they are basically still just big boys with fairly chauvinistic attitudes who retreat to their caves every evening!
Is this conducive to a satisfactory working environment? Does this massage my ego? Do I feel content in my situation? No I do not!
Even in this modern age of equality, what is it about some men that they believe females are a different species? Why do so many of them expect us to treat them like their mothers would do? Or why do they think we would be happy if we simply had a good man to service our “needs”?
The comment was made – “What are you cooking us tonight for dinner?”
This may have been said tongue-in-cheek as a distant hope when speaking to me. As a woman who is carrying out a job that is just as tiring and time-consuming (if not more so) than their own jobs I don’t appreciate it especially as I know that if I offered to cook they will be happy but they would be unlikely to offer to cook me something.
And one of them goes back to the UK each time for a few days with a bag of washing – OMG – What is THAT all about for Christ sake? His wife apparently will take this bag – wash, iron and make ready the clothes for next time he goes back to the UK and he then swaps one lot for another. He will NOT use the washing machine here and cannot iron either!!!!
Is this a woman’s fault – Are some women continuing to treat “men” as the cavemen these have become? Are they liking this type of “macho-man”?
Don’t get me wrong, I am really not a total feminist but I do believe that we are all human beings and should therefore be treated equally. Especially when we are all expected to go out and earn our own money and not “sponge” off the men.
Sure, if I wanted to be a “housewife”, “domestic goddess” or” home engineer” then I would consider an agreement with a man so that we both shared the chores and issues of everyday life evenly. I am happy to fix things and therefore, that does not mean that I would simply do all the cooking, cleaning and home-making. I actually enjoy some of the “get down and get greasy” jobs that men tinker with (fixing things is all part of my recycling attitude to life after all!).
In the past I was very fortunate to have a partner who not only loved to cook but also did the ironing better than me and also was a very clean and handy person also. Before you remark on this I can tell you he was totally heterosexual and a wonderful sharing and caring person.
The reason he was like this was from the attitude of equality instilled in him by mother and father who did not treat him differently from their daughter (his sister). Both as human beings were capable of realising full potential on their own unhampered by sexual mores.
I do put a lot of men’s attitudes down to the age they were born into. This gorgeous guy was 11 years younger than me and the world by the time he was born was possibly less focused on men being breadwinners and women staying home than when I was his age. Add to that that his family moved countries a few times as a result of his father’s job.
Actually I have found similar with many men of his age range but in addition I find it hard to find real equality with men of my age or older who should have the same capacity for open-minded thinking in this respect.
I have however, recently met an “old-fashioned” style man who actually has taken the time to learn how to cook now that he is without a “woman” to do for him. He seemed to be quite proud of this achievement and I really do think this was admirable of him.
However, it remains to be seen how long he will remain in that mode as it may all depend on whether he was really forced into the situation or if he made a conscious effort to learn the skills after he no longer had a woman in tow.
As he has apparently spent many years with one or another woman in his life, proof of the pudding will be when he meets another woman he really wants to be with. Whether or not he then reverts to his previous ways or really is prepared to “share” such things as cooking, cleaning, technical things, will obviously also depend on what that woman wants and expects I suppose. After all a “caveman” may be her ideal partner.
I however, am NOT seeking a caveman of any kind, which is why I have tended to stay alone and “passionless”.
I want to find a man who not only ignites my feelings for them but who is also passionate about wanting to see me happy and who will make every effort to spend their time with me (physically or mentally) as I will with them, whatever the circumstances surrounding us.
He may retreat to his cave occasionally but he will never have a caveman attitude. I truly believe that he is out there for me but whether we join up in this life or the next remains to be seen.