An old boyfriend told me long ago that they “leave a little piece of their heart wherever they go”.
This was understandable to me of course as I have travelled and lived in a number of places that all had various appeals and long-term attractions so that I developed a fondness for the location, the lifestyle, the people and the way of life. Thus I had left little pieces of my heart in various places also.
However, the person that told me this long ago had been a sailor and he had joined the navy to see the world and………………to find a woman for every port…………which he did manage apparently (well according to him anyway!)
So he was more interested in playing the field and his heart had nothing to do with it! He wanted to be free of all women but to keep them all on the back-burner for future possibilities.
When I got to know him I realised that for all his apparent strengths he was unable to actually let his emotions go or to be honest with himself. What chance then did others have to understand him or share his life?.
When I heard the “leaving a little of my heart in every place” line again recently told to me by a friend I felt a flashback stab of pain. However, I put this down to my being unreasonable and that I should not judge everyone by one person who had at one time hurt me.
Wrong – If I had been wary and listened to my inner self at that point things may have been different. However, I am always open to new experiences and trusted in the person who threw it at me.
Thus I was not prepared for the way that we went from seeming close friendship to the sudden callous way I was cut off from all communication that did not suit them. A user it seems they were (as are many men and women in these modern times it seems) and my heart had tricked me again.
However, it was probably down to my not balancing my emotions with logic. I therefore cannot blame them as although I felt a strong connection it seems that I set myself up for a fall. All I can feel is very sad for them as they could not see a good thing when they saw it.
Being a positive person I like to believe the best in others but it seems my positivity overrode facts and common sense. I cannot say I was tricked – only that I allowed my imagination to trick my other senses.
People do and will lie and deceive in order to try to find a little piece of contentment for their own peace of mind perhaps. Maybe they delude themselves that this is what others want or expect. Perhaps they find happiness this way. I however cannot and I will not change to suit them.
Life should be about doing things with passion and so I am passionate in everything I do. When I find people I feel an affinity towards I give them my trust.
Thus this incident will not deter me – or shut me off from others. It does seem that sometimes people need me to boost their own egos.
So be it – where I can help and give something to others, then I am hopefully creating a positive attitude and I just need to do it without letting them pull the strings with my heart.