So as the year draws to a close I felt it would be good to look back and consider what I have experienced and learnt from the 365 days contained therein.
My tagline of “try something new every day” has involved me experimenting with many new things & changing the way I perform some of my old or ingrained habits.
One of these changes has brought about a total change of location (to another continent) going forward into 2015.
This year I have tried to be more loving and more tolerant of others and of circumstances as they arose. This has meant being more open to strangers, as well as listening to their ideas or viewpoints and in addition, I have spent longer considering options before drawing conclusions.
On the spiritual side I feel I have grown in many ways and have also allowed my passion to draw my heart out of its previously hardened shell.
Although this meant I was emotionally wrecked for a period of time, this has been short-lived. Even though still sad, I am more positive that there is someone there for me and so have moved on faster, as a result of trying to be more logical and scientific in my thinking as well as my planning.
By writing things down, thinking things through, asking others for opinions and advice, and then weighing up the pros and cons of everything I have made decisions that I was putting off or hiding away from. This has also helped me to take steps towards being a healthier and more balanced person, without squashing my creative tendencies.
Health-wise, whilst I continue to grow mentally and spiritually I believe the physical side of me can fight against the dis-ease that often threatens.
In fact, I am listening to my body all the time now and as it moans and groans, it has shown me the changes I need to make to stay healthy and fit.
So, overall, have I grown as an individual and am I nearer to what life has in store for me? Am I travelling the road less-traveled with positive footsteps more often than hesitant ones?
Yes, I believe I have and am, although others may still draw different conclusions – that is their right of course.
I am more open now to listening to different suggestions and ideas but this does not mean that I will make unbalanced or hasty decisions that do not suit me. I understand many will still see me as a hopeless dreamer and they may hold negative opinions of me and thus not change their attitude towards me. However, this does not concern me and my inner voice can guide me along the right path when weighing up both people and facts.
My understanding now of how some people see others is often due to what they do not have themselves.
Envy and jealousy (both the same with subtle differences: – Envy being the emotion when you want something another person possesses, jealousy being the emotion when you fear you may be replaced in the affection of someone you love or desire) can have a strong influence on a person’s attitude to you and to others, and can result in obsessive and compulsive mind-sets or behavior if not controlled.
I have myself been jealous this year but have learnt to overcome this feeling faster than previously, even if it did still hurt like hell!
It also appears that some people are envious of my predominantly positive outlook on life, my “couldn’t care less” attitude and my seeming naivety of how everyday life works.
But regardless of what others think, even with a recent emotional upset I am predominantly happy with the way life has progressed for me this year.
In fact, not to appear arrogant, I have to blow my own trumpet in some things as I have discovered others seeking to emulate or learn from whom I am and what I can offer them.
I have also discovered that I am amazingly good at what I do in many areas of life and that I SHOULD be proud of this and the fact that I put my heart, soul and energy into living a useful life every day and to helping others to also feed from the positivity contained within each one of us.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not always on a high as many of you may have seen with me throughout certain stages of this year, and I have cried and been torn by indecision several times. But now I find the pain more bearable and I will not wallow in what has been lost to my heart or life or circumstances as we go forward into 2015.
The universe still conspires to bring about the events that must unfold, regardless of how we look at these things, or how we react to circumstances, whether in a scientific or spiritual way.
As ever, a balance of positive and negative is necessary to create the equilibrium required and to ensure that as we move ahead we can continue to grow, learn, develop others and teach ourselves and others how to balance our lives.
Maybe, my beliefs and longings will seem less ”loopy” as I move onward through the next 12 months. Hopefully I will speed up on my learning & reading of people and life so that by this time next year I have found an even stronger pathway forward.
This may or may not bring me the “right” person to share that future (I misled myself into believing I had found them this year but that was possibly only wishful thinking on my part). However, as long as my steps brings me to others who are willing to share their peace of mind and happiness with me (for however short or long a period of time) then I can once again feel more settled and content in my personal life as I do in the other areas.
Thanks to those of you who have helped to guide me through 2014 and I wish everyone out there Reiki light, love, blessings and happiness for 2015.
May you get what you wish for, but in the wishing please be very careful, lest it come true.